Mirage of fleeting time

I was there, sitting at the corner of the seat in the sleeper class compartment—barely paying attention to the ruthless slaps of cold wind and rushing scenes. A kind of random question comes into my mind—why isn’t anything registering? Why does it seem like I am a third person, watching my life pass by me? How long it has been since I have paid attention to the journey rather than the destination? My memories veered to the journey to Kharagpur. For the 1st time, I was to be away from my family, friends and city. That journey...

"The super-congested train gave the impression of inferno, as 15 of us—the Delhites sharing the same destiny—sneeringly entered our compartments. We had made a choice and though it seemed like a dream, deep within I knew its going to change our lives indelibly—forever. As dusk evolved from reddish-blue to hazy dark, the journey began. Everything seemed rushing behind, as if I was transgressing to a new life. Nearby me, were sitting some friends I had barely met twice, but now seemed as if we had known each other from aeons. Eating, chatting, watching movie on laptop, listening to songs—time fleeted like mirage."

...and that is when i noticed it first. The mirage of fleeting time.

The tunnels, flocks of sheep, V-shape of birds in the sky, rocks, colour of soil, dance of electricity wires and railway line—is it déjà-vu? Childhood memories surfeit and nostalgia sinks in my heart. I remember these scenes from my past travels, when i was a small kid, travelling with the family...has anything really changed? My family loved travelling and so did I. I got a chance to visit remote places like Tripura and tourist spots from all over India when i was very young. I loved watching outside the train window, to all the scenes passing by, and it all was like taped in my memory.

How fast am i moving? Why do i remember the 1st 14 years of my life much more vividly than the later ones? When you run mindlessly, all the pleasure is gone. The mirage of success is that it is the door way to another race. It’s an endless loop. “The most despicable man is man without a purpose”, Ayn Rand wrote. What purpose does having a purpose serve? All are ways of passing your life. Don’t do it and nothing would change. If it is satisfaction or pleasure or recognition one so desperately seek, then its all in the mind. You can be happy and satisfied without being known by anyone. Then what is your purpose?

Rat race is a necessary evil. Its just like a game. You win a point, you get happy, you lose, you try harder, but the game continues. You continue it because you enjoy playing it. May be you get tired of it sometimes, but have got so addicted that you can’t stay away from it much long. You take a rest, and come back again. You always feel in the end that you could have played it better. That is the fun of it...